I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook a couple of days ago when I came across a question on a page I follow (Autism Late Diagnosis/Self-Identification Support and Education). It was as follows:
“What are some things that you didn’t know were sensory issues until you realised you were Autistic?“
One of the things I’ve found about receiving a late diagnosis is that I’m constantly discovering new explanations for the things that I always thought set me apart from everyone else. But it turns out that I do actually have a tribe, if I look in the right places. There are websites and Facebook groups where I suddenly feel seen for the first time. On that note, and in no particular order, here are some of my answers to the above question:
- I have to wear proper socks and shoes all year round. I’ve never been able to put my bare feet into shoes without feeling extremely uncomfortable. In the past, at a push, I would perhaps wear flip-flops on holiday in a hot country but that hasn’t been relevant for 15 years. And, yes, I am aware that it is currently fashionable to wear shorter jeans/trousers and trainer socks so that one’s ankles are on show…but I just can’t. I also struggle to look at people in trainers who appear not to be wearing socks (even if they are but I just can’t see them). To everyone reading this who knows me, I’m sorry – it’s not personal!
- I can’t stand anything fluid on my skin other than soap or water. This applies particularly to make-up, but also things like hand cream and body lotion.
- On a similar note, I hate the feel of my hair on my face and neck. If you’ve always wondered why you’ve never seen me with my hair down, or looking nice, then these last two are why.
- This might sound a bit strange, but I don’t really like to be touched. I will accept a hug from a few very honoured people (mostly those who are related by blood), but what I’m really referring to are things like facials and massages. I was once the only person completely traumatised by a surprise away day (I’m shuddering as I write this) at work, where we were taken and “treated” to such things…I’m not exaggerating, I came home in tears.
- I don’t like wearing anything that feels tight around my waist. I will make an effort and wear jeans if I need to (when I’m at uni, for example), but if I’m at home, or walking the dog, then it’s pjs*, joggers, tracksuit bottoms or (to bring us a bit more up to date) combat trousers.
- On a similar note, I don’t like anything tight, clingy or skin-hugging on my top half. I always favour oversized in everything. If it doesn’t come oversized, I’ll order a size up. These last two issues have been particularly bad since I “recovered” from anorexia, and then bulimia…but that’s for another post.
- I can’t touch wooden spoons or ice lolly sticks. This is not code for anything, it’s a simple truth that needs no further explanation.
*I don’t wear pjs to walk the dog, unless its raining and I’ll risk just pulling on some waterproofs (with an elasticated waist) and hope I don’t get hit by a car and have to go to hospital.
All of these things relate mostly to touch. However, I also have some of the more obvious sensory issues such as noise-sensitivity, light-sensitivity (I hate, in the words of Peter Kay, the “big light” being on), and an aversion to either preparing food myself, or watching someone else do it (especially raw meat)…again with the eating disorder residue.
I’m sure, with time, I’ll remember more of these idiosyncrasies and I’ll add them to this blog as I go. For now, though, I hope someone out there can relate…and, if not, maybe you at least understand me a little bit more.
Notes From A Tricky Brain 
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